The Trusted One

Who do you think of when you read this post title?

Chances are you didn't think of Judas Iscariot. At least, I know I don't think of Judas in this way. The "trusted one?" My whole life I've been brought up seeing Judas as a schemer who was plotting all of these things against Jesus, but who was Judas really? He took care of the money, had a throne in Heaven waiting for him, was a dear friend of Jesus, and yes, betrayed Him as well.

I don't believe that Judas has a horrible man. I'm starting to see that Judas was a dreamer, he lived in a fantasy world of ministry and power that didn't exist. He saw Jesus's message how he wanted to see it rather than how it really was...I honestly wonder if he thought he was helping Jesus by pushing the process along. There is no fact to back this up but it makes sense to me that someone so close and dear to Jesus would only want to see Him rule His kingdom sooner.

Listening to the message, Judas Had a Throne, by Winkie Pratney really got me thinking about these things. If Judas would have gone back and asked Jesus for forgiveness would he have still hung himself? Would he have been on that throne in Heaven? When the women saw the angel at the tomb would he have said to go tell the disciples, Peter, and Judas? (Mark 16:7) I'd like to think that he would have been reassured just like Peter was. Betrayal is something that we do daily and are forgiven daily. These are just thoughts and something that I am processing right now.

So in my life, how have I betrayed Jesus and have I been viewing Him in my own way or in truth? Is there a fantasy world I live in rather than reality? We've been doing a lot of reexamining in our lives lately and I'm really starting to see things for what they really are and for who I really am. My Best Friend saved me by grace.

The Peculiar Ones

With many such parables [Jesus] spoke the Word to them, as they were able to hear and to comprehend and understand.
He did not tell them anything without a parable; but privately to His disciples (those who were peculiarly His own) He explained everything [fully]. Mark 4:33-34 (Amplified)

The phrase "those who were peculiarly His own" really caught my attention while reading this passage. Granted, I know it's the Amplified version and it doesn't say that in any other version of the Bible, but God really used it to speak to me. I want to be like the disciples, spending every moment I can with Jesus. Studying His words and listening to what He has to say rather than my own interpretation. I want to be unconventional in the way I see the world, I want to belong to my Savior in a way that no one else understands.

After spending alone time with His disciples Jesus ends up questioning their faith. Later on in Mark 4 the disciples and Jesus end up in a storm that brings fear upon His "peculiar ones." This story honestly brings peace to my heart. Even though the disciples walked with Jesus every day does not mean that they were not human, their faith had to be tested and stretched just as ours does. To be elite in God's eyes does not mean to be perfect...but to be intimate with Him.

Embracing the Journey

This week marks a fresh step in my journey with God. I've asked God in the last few weeks to really show me what it's like to know for a fact that I am in the right place doing the right thing. Well, He gave that to me. I am going back to Connecticut this week to do another YWAM school. This school is going to be a foundation for me to really work off of. I think it's going to be a launching pad for me to do the ministry that I've always wanted to do and that brings such joy to my heart! While there for just a week God really showed me that I had forgotten my original desire to love abused women and children, specifically those who have been touched by human trafficking. I'm not exactly sure how this will come about but I am ready to embrace the journey that will get me there.I'm seeing that the journey may be trying and obstacles may be in the way but God pushes me through and guides me in each step. This journey is no short journey and it is on a path that will give me nothing less than a adventure.

Though the distance is unknown the beauty still resides.

Stand Together

I drove from Connecticut to Ohio today. Well...my mom and I did. We did quite well if I say so myself but...there was a little section before meeting up with my mom that I was alone and things did not go so well. In fact, somehow I got off 2 wrong exits within 1 1/2 hours. The only explanation I can give is that I was distracted. I was on the phone both times, focusing on a side conversation and not what was right in front of me. I get side-tracked so easily.

Something good out of this little mishap this morning though. I learned something from it. Well technically God used it as a physical example of everything I am going through right now. He directed me to a path to fulfill the dreams He placed in my heart but somehow I have gotten side-tracked. I looked for what would be most comfortable and what I could fit into the easiest...but that's not the path He placed me on. No, the path He asked me to take is dangerous and uncomfortable...and most likely culturally completely different.

I'm seeing the only way to really stay focused is to be on the path with someone else. Without the Body of Christ we are never going to fulfill the dreams God has placed inside of us. We are too frail on our own.

Stand Together.

"They will know we are Christians by our love...by our love..."

Color of Life

We often compare our lives to puzzles. You know, when God fits everything together and makes a beautiful picture? Well, I've been wondering what happens when the tricky pieces come along that seem to fit but really don't. They may have the same shape and similar design but the one line on them that fits somewhere else will throw the whole puzzle off. So it's similar to our lives. We settle for the moment and decide something is "ok enough" and don't wait until we find the right piece so later on in life nothing else starts to fit and the picture doesn't look right. God doesn't let pieces go missing but if we settle for less than He has for us...we may even dull the color a bit.

Personally, I like to think of it has a painting. I want to give God complete artistic freedom in my life. God, You paint the picture on my blank canvas. Even better...He can correct the strokes I tried to make on my own.