Thoughts for the Night

New things are always hard. Always challenging. Always tiring. And almost always, completely worth it. This new season of my life is definitely hard and definitely worth it. I already see my schedule filling up rapidly and new lessons are already being written on my heart. Seasons such as this tend to make me more sensitive to God in every situation. (Mostly because I am more aware of my need for God in every situation)

One of the things I dread most in life and desire most in life is starting over. I truly hate and love new beginnings. They are hard because no one has any idea the things you've done or have experienced; therefore, you start at the bottom. The bottom is hard, stretching, painful, and sometimes even tearful. But the bottom is the best place to start because it leaves more room for adventure, learning experiences, and growth. God has the picture in clear view and I choose to see what I want so I want to choose to see whatever God has in store for the moment. Completely incapable of seeing the "big picture," the only thing we can do is submit to the plans of the One who can not only see the picture but who has also created it. God is teaching me so much about submission and the beauty it truly is. Faith is produced out of submission to the Lord. And since God's heart for us to embrace our journey, then I truly believe He desires us to be placed in situations that require faith, and a comfort that only He can provide.

In the book, Reckless Faith by Beth Guckenberger, she shares a stretching story about a small orphanage in Monterrey, Mexico. The orphanage was quite poor and had actually run out of food. They were so low on resources that they had nothing to eat for the evening meal. The director of the orphanage, Edgar, knew He could call a local ministry and have them bring food to the table within minutes but He saw an opportunity for a lesson of faith. He sat all the children down and shared their situation and asked them to pray and ask God to provide their meal for them. You see, Edgar understood that whoever they asked to provide their meal would be the one the children looked up to and had faith in. Through their prayers God provide a feast of the best cuts of meat for them, when they hadn't had meat for over a year. Can you imagine the capacity their faith grew to that day? I want that faith and am being challenged to allow myself to be up against the wall so God is the only One that can provide for me, the only one that can get glory. If I just stay in situations that my hands can fix then I am only living by my flesh, but if I live my life in reckless abandon of myself, my flesh may be uncomfortable but God is getting all glory.

Well there are all of my scattered thoughts for the night.

Much love.