I Surrender

This song by Kim Walker is my heart in a nutshell right now.  I am His, all of me.  I feel as though I have drank Jesus up and it almost takes my breath away.  All I long to do is live a lifestyle of worship to my God, in posture of complete surrender.   

I Surrender
There is no love, sweeter than the love You pour on me.
There is no song, sweeter than the song You sing to me.
There is no place, that I would rather be,
Than here at Your feet, laying down everything.

Chorus:
All to You, I surrender,
Everything, every part of me.
All to You, I surrender,
All of my dreams, all of me.

If worship's like perfume, I'll pour mine out on You.
For there is none as deserving of my love like You.
So take my hand and draw me into You,
I want to be swept away, lost in love for You.

Bridge 1:
I surrender...

Bridge 2:
No turning back, I've made up my mind,
I'm giving all of my life this time.

Bridge 3:
Your love makes it worth it,
Your love makes it worth it all,
Your love makes it worth it all.

side note: Sorry for the lack of pictures and creativity on here lately.  I've had a lot going on and haven't taken the time to post...or really even take...pictures.  I'm working on it though and will post some soon.  Much love everyone!

I'd like more of Jesus, please.

What we need more of is Jesus. Purely, passionately, fully seeking after Him is what keeps us in righteousness, there is nothing we can do to be the Father's righteous, holy children outside of Jesus, what He did for us, and what He does in our lives daily. So that is my prayer for all of us right now, "More Jesus, please!"

I'm excited to see God move deeper in my life. The only thing I can do is make more room for Him, empty myself of anything else that is taking my heart captive. Sin is not who we are, it is not a sickness, it is a choice, and I want to choose relationship with my Savior!

If our decision to not act on temptation is purely because of fear, consequences, or other people then we might as well have acted on it, because we have already done it in our hearts, we have already planned it in our minds and have seen what the end result would be. God is worthy and He is personal. He is our reason for life and how we live our lives...if our heart is not transformed enough to not dwell on temptation then we have already committed the sin by letting it form inside of us. God is not only interested in our actions but the condition of our soul. We are constantly growing in increasing amounts of light (if we choose so) and God desires to see us succeed! We are blessed to serve such a personal and loving God. <3

This season is showing me that an endurance in trust is not easy. There are so many times that I have been able to trust God through tragedies and pain but the situations change and get better and I see good come from them...what happens when I am asked to trust in situations that have no end in sight? When there is disease with no solution or debt with no money, will I keep trusting? I like to think, Yes, but I am finding it is not an easy yes. Blind, ruthless trust is not something that comes at the drop of a hat in human nature and I so wish it did. I want to be that daughter that trusts her Father in all situations, no matter how hard, long, or painful but, I suppose I can never learn to be that daughter without going through situations that bring forth these conditions.

Though trust is not easy it is worth every bit of every trial I go through. My relationship with God can only grow within the pain. I don't believe that God wants me to be in pain or go through tragedy but I do know He wants me to trust Him when I end up in these situations. He is greater than any situation or obstacle in life.

Prayers are appreciated right now. Not that God would change my situations but that I would allow Him to change my heart. He has the situations in His hand, it's my heart that I have too much say over.

I have it so good...

I really do. No matter what happens in my life, there is someone out there who has had it worse, who has dealt with much much more than I will ever see in my life time. My family is safe, I am safe, I can walk, I can worship my God, I have freedom of speech, I am blessed beyond the typical things of life and not many people in the world can say that.

We started our first day at IRIS today. I got to teach english to a sweet group of ladies who are all so ready and willing to learn. I feel so unworthy to teach them or have acquaintance with them because they are so strong, so kind, and have endured so much. I am truly excited to get to know these women and see them grow. I only wish that I knew I had more time with them...and that I knew how to teach english! I'm sure I made the biggest fool of myself in front of them today but they showed me nothing but kind hearts and warmth.

God-Focused

This week in school we're talking about "The Secret to Happiness." Just writing that makes me feel like I'm in some kind of self-help support group but to be honest, I am getting so much out of this week already. It's day 2 and God is really opening my eyes to why I find myself in critical, insecure, and unhappy places. If my eyes are fixed on me or circumstances I become selfish and lacking joy but when I am focused on God and His heart I become grateful and full of joy. It's a simple revelation but life changing. There are too many times where I have taken my eyes off of God and His character that I have become embittered and angry.

Something I know I will hold on to so tightly is to not lose site of God among the cause of this world. My cause is Jesus not injustice. I cannot bring justice to any situation, Jesus is the only One who can do that. How selfish for me to believe I could do anything about the children getting raped in Asia, the villages starving in Africa, or the hopelessness forming in Haiti. If justice at its purest form is truly love correcting everything that stands against love then the only justice is to live by love in its Purest Form, Jesus.

Jehova Jireh-The Lord Who Provides

God never ceases to surprise me. When life seems the hardest and trust seems distant He shows up in the sweetest, most encouraging ways; through a note from a distant friend, a box in the mail, a verse in the Bible, a quote, through the smallest a greatest of things. I want to have a child-like faith and trust and know that I will be taken care of. He proves day in and day out His faithfulness and I have no reason to doubt that He is good, I am blessed to know such a Father.

I have a horrible case of "poverty mentality" ant it's stealing the greatness of the blessings I have. Jehova Jireh is a part of God I want to know and live by. He is my provider and I his child. Even without a set income and working like the rest of world I can live a good life, I live by a God who is faithful and compassionate. He guides is in what is best for who we are.


Here's a funny story from Yiddish tradition that I read in "Ruthless Trust," I thought it went well with my thoughts for the day. haha

"One day Israel Schwartz asked God, 'Yahweh, is it true that for you a thousand years is just a minute?'

Yahweh answered, 'Yes, Izzy, that is true.'

Izzy had a second question: 'And Yahweh, is it true that for you a million dollars is just a penny?'

Yahweh replied, 'Yes, Izzy, that also is true.'

Extending his right hand with palm upturned, Izzy Schwartz said, 'Yahweh give me a penny.'

And Yahweh said, 'Certainly, it'll only take a minute.'"


Our God is big.

Faith - Action = Nothing

We cannot live by intention alone, nothing would get done and integrity would be lost. God is not about complacency or mere thought, He is about taking action and transforming the heart. How could we expect God to give us an abundant life if we are not embracing and moving in the things He has given us already? Let's challenge ourselves to love with every bit of love that we have, serve with every bit of energy we can find, and share His heart with everyone that we can. We will not run dry and He will supply everything we need. He is our source and our guide and desires to adventure with us. It's time to put action to thought.


I'm a little passionate about this today :)

Trust

"The way of trust is a movement into obscurity, into the undefined, into the ambiguity, not into some pre-determined, clearly delineated plan for the future. The next step discloses itself only out of a discernment of God acting in the desert of the present moment. The reality of naked trust is the life of a pilgrim who leaves what is nailed down, obvious, and secure, and walks into the unknown without any rational explanation to justify the decision or guarantee the future. Why? Because God has signaled the movement and offered it His presence and His promise."

-Brennan Manning