The Ache

Some days I feel like I am torn between two different worlds, the world of organized, clean, stable living and the world of unpredictable, dirty adventure.  Both are great, both have a purpose...only one has the power over my heart to make it ache in its absence.  Part of me longs to believe they can coexist within my life, but reality is making me all too aware of their resistance to each other.  Much like oil and water, no matter how hard I try to shake them up and mix them together, they will never make a smooth mix.  But no matter which world I'm in, I have to stay aware of where the Father's heart is.  I am made for the hard, rough, dirty road...the not always comfortable or fun road...but that is what I've been made to walk on. So how do I do that when I am in Ohio? 
I don't know. 
But I don't want to lose site of who I am or forget about the babies who wait for my arms to hold them.  There is purpose for each season; to learn, to wait, to run, in this season I am seeking without relent.  I want to know my God in deeper, more intimate ways.