Happiness is a Heart Thing

Today I'm reminded of the "secret to happiness"...a grateful heart.  The Holiday blues have hit pretty hard lately and this is such a great reminder to stay thankful and be aware of all the great things I have in life.  I'm blessed and if I put the One who blessed me in the center of everything, life it going to look a lot different.  Refocusing is what I need to do right now and it's a breath of fresh air to finally see that.  Life really is good.

I'll Take the Hope Special with a Side of Clarity, Please.

Life is confusing.  There are so many desires, opinions, and expectations for just one person that I don't know how any one decides what to do.  I mean, roll all your own desires and expectations together along with everyone else's and there is not even a 1/10 of the time to accomplish it all within a lifetime.  Especially, when there is no way of telling when the "end" of your lifetime is.

Being home now is really opening my eyes to see that I have no idea what to do with my life and to be honest, it's pushing me farther away from choosing one thing to do with my life.  I guess what I'm saying is, I'm still torn.  Every time I think I know what I want from life, the next day I'm a complete mess because everything's a blur.  The past 2 weeks have been filled with blurry days and all I can get out of it is that I'm not doing what I need to be doing.  (What do I need to be doing though?)  

Torn between ministry and "real life" (as I've found many non-missionaries like to reference it) is my state of being right now.  Decisions are what I'm living for and they're rapidly closing in on me.  Times like this I realize I cannot do life alone, I need people and I need guidance.  Even more so, I need a little hope. 

*Edit- After posting this I read the title of my blog.  If would just stop trying to figure this out on my own and truly embrace what's in front of me, I would get right where I'm going.  Maybe a little trust would spark the glimmer of hope I'm looking for.  

Past, Present, and Honolulu

My thoughts like to take little trips to foreign places.  Their favorite spot is the future, in fact, they stay there quite often.  I think it's becoming quite the vacation destination for them.  I wish they could figure something out, but it's all jumbled, creating a very laxidazical mood for the present.

There are so many things I want to master or at least know how to do, so I think I will choose one for now and spend my time digging into it.  Such as playing piano, drawing...or writing.  Yes, my creativity must thrive again and take its reviving breath.  

Another thought from this week so far is to be yourself.  Spend time with people who know who they are and help you know who you are.  I've found out much about myself this week and it is pushing me to be a much better person.  In fact, a friend suggested I keep a journal of myself, writing things; such as, my favorite color, drink, band, art medium, what makes me feel like me, etc...  So I'm suggesting that to you.  If you are trying to figure yourself out, write yourself in a book.