I'll Take the Hope Special with a Side of Clarity, Please.

Life is confusing.  There are so many desires, opinions, and expectations for just one person that I don't know how any one decides what to do.  I mean, roll all your own desires and expectations together along with everyone else's and there is not even a 1/10 of the time to accomplish it all within a lifetime.  Especially, when there is no way of telling when the "end" of your lifetime is.

Being home now is really opening my eyes to see that I have no idea what to do with my life and to be honest, it's pushing me farther away from choosing one thing to do with my life.  I guess what I'm saying is, I'm still torn.  Every time I think I know what I want from life, the next day I'm a complete mess because everything's a blur.  The past 2 weeks have been filled with blurry days and all I can get out of it is that I'm not doing what I need to be doing.  (What do I need to be doing though?)  

Torn between ministry and "real life" (as I've found many non-missionaries like to reference it) is my state of being right now.  Decisions are what I'm living for and they're rapidly closing in on me.  Times like this I realize I cannot do life alone, I need people and I need guidance.  Even more so, I need a little hope. 

*Edit- After posting this I read the title of my blog.  If would just stop trying to figure this out on my own and truly embrace what's in front of me, I would get right where I'm going.  Maybe a little trust would spark the glimmer of hope I'm looking for.