His Will Not Mine

"Am I willing to give up everything?" "What if everything means my dreams and traveling the world?"  "Are all of my passions to stop human trafficking and hold babies in India my own?"  "Where do my desires stop and His desires begin?"  
Lately thoughts like these have been consistently running through my mind.  A fear of living for myself took over the confidence of who I am in Christ, who He spoke me to be.  Each desire and passion He placed so confidently inside of me has been questioned and pulled apart.  Is that a bad thing?  I don't think so.  Even through my moments of insecurity and confusion God gives me much strength and I have no doubt that those passions are straight from His heart.  So why am I here?  What am I doing in the middle of Amish country?!(haha this questions comes up all too often)  I have devoted my life to follow after His heart, I am dedicated to glorifying Him and if this is where He is glorified most right now then I am completely satisfied to be here. But I never want to lose sight of who I really am, a strong-willed, creative, justice focused woman with a compassion for the world.  I pray that who God has made me to be will only grow stronger while I am in this safe place.


Father, keep my heart from growing weak.  Keep my eyes fixed on You.  Keep my mind sharp and my ears sensitive to your voice.  Let me not miss one step You ask me to take or one hand you ask me to hold.  Even though I do not understand how, be glorified in me!  Make Your name known and spread Your love through one so undeserving yet so willing.  I am Yours so do Your will with me.