Short Update

I've gotten a few requests for an update on my life and where I'm headed.  I wish I had a definite answer for you all, I really wish I had a definite answer for myself.  Being home has been great but I am itching to do more than just work full time and "make it through life".

There seems to be another cross-road in front of me and I truly don't know which direction to choose.  God has placed some encouragement in my path the last few days and I intend to embrace it.  I just need to step out in faith.  I'm still working to pay off debt for the moment but once that is done then I will be on my way again.  I'm really praying that I know what direction God wants me to go because I want to be intentional about what I am doing.  Furthering my knowledge and experience in social justice and teaching freedom in Christ is where I want to head, it's just a matter of finding how to grow in those areas.  Faith, hope, and trust have been a roller coaster the last while but I do believe I have been growing immensely in those areas and pray I truly live them out in my life.

That is all I can say for now.  I have not given up.  I have not fallen off the earth. And I still love the broken. :)

Much love to you all.

Holding the Key

Some people call me passionate.  Some people call me reckless.  Some people say I don't think.  Some people think I'm crazy.  Some people love my adventures.  Some people hate my adventures.  Some people label me irresponsible.  Some people judge me.  Some people love me.  Some people know my humor.  Some people don't even try.  Some people call me disrespectful.  Some people try to control me.  Some people never say hi.  Some people like to hold me.  Some people always scold me.  Some people take advantage.  Some people try to be sly.  Some people accept me.  Some people love to lie.  Some people use me. Some people see right through me.  Some people truly move me.  Some people just don't know when to stop.

Life is about more than "some people".  I don't want to live for some people anymore, their expectations or their labels.  I want to live for Christ and make my decisions based on a life of holiness.  I think freedom from fear of man is knocking at my door...now only to figure out how to unlock it.

I think I have a few keys laying around, some even in my hand already.  I need to find what they are and use them to receive my prize.  Keys such as; who I live life with,  desiring holiness, living in love, never judging, etc...  There are keys to whatever box we put ourselves in, and we are the only ones who can use them.

There is action that we forget about.  Identifying what we need is great and necessary but I pray we do not stop there.  My prayer is that we would live for something that is much greater than ourselves and the usual people we try to please or disprove...there is only fear and captivity at the end of that trail.  Life should be full of laughter and peace through the ups and the downs!  It's just our choice to make it that way.  This has somehow turned into another post ending with the only phrase I know appropriate...

"Just choose it"

A Restoration of Hope

I love and hate how God just lets me go on my long tantrums over the future and what He wants for me.  He lets me make the decision to trust Him and choose HIM rather than my own desires...or even the desires of the ones I love.  My life is in HIS hands.  Today I was reminded of the calling He placed on my life.  I'm a missionary. Plain and simple. haha  For most of you who know me well, you probably think I'm crazy for even forgetting that but I let myself go.  I let being comfortable take over who I really am.  Even though being comfortable is the most uncomfortable feeling for me I felt like it was my responsibility to live a comfortable life for everyone around me...that way they're comfortable...um, when have I ever been about complacency?!  I'm over it now though and I see myself coming back, the gray fog of confusion and the false desire for a "normal" life is lifting and I am seeing what I really want.  Now what?  Trust.  That's all I need to do right now.  I've fought hard and long to get to this point and now God is saying to just trust.  "Rest in the faith I have given you," oh how I've longed to hear those words from Abba for a long, long time.  I trust my God and I am at peace to let Him be my light, let Him be my guide.  He is my everything and I am so glad to be back in this place of worship and adoration.

The book of Luke is what pushed me out of my slump today.  I am called to be a disciple of my King and adore how He waits for me, so He can run down the road with open arms.  I adore my Father, my King, my Love.

While I sat in the back room and prayed for the people coming in to receive clothes at God's Closet God spoke to me so sweetly.  He wanted to bring a restoration of hope to each person brought into that place today.  I should have seen it coming but He was talking to me.  He was restoring my hope, my faith, as He poured words of intercession into my heart.  That is my prayer for so many right now, there is a lack of hope in many people right now and I fully believe God wants to restore that to its fullest.

I feel like this post is all over the place but I'm so overwhelmed with excitement and relief that I don't know I could put it all in a neat little paragraph.

Today

This morning has been so surreal, with snow slipping to the ground like glittery dust and birds peacefully perched outside my window.  It's as if the world doesn't remember the blustery winds from yesterday or fear the blizzardy cold predicted for tomorrow.  Today the world is living for the moment.

What a theme for life right now!  Every where I turn I am reminded to live for today.  Dwelling in the past only sets me back farther and keeps my wounds open.  And to fear tomorrow is only keeping me from embracing the beauty that today can bring.  To even focus on tomorrow with expectation or incessant planning is to limit the opportunities that it holds.  I am still working on my relationship with tomorrow, some days I fear what he will bring but today we are on good terms.  Today I admire his open doors to the unknown.

Happiness is a Heart Thing

Today I'm reminded of the "secret to happiness"...a grateful heart.  The Holiday blues have hit pretty hard lately and this is such a great reminder to stay thankful and be aware of all the great things I have in life.  I'm blessed and if I put the One who blessed me in the center of everything, life it going to look a lot different.  Refocusing is what I need to do right now and it's a breath of fresh air to finally see that.  Life really is good.

I'll Take the Hope Special with a Side of Clarity, Please.

Life is confusing.  There are so many desires, opinions, and expectations for just one person that I don't know how any one decides what to do.  I mean, roll all your own desires and expectations together along with everyone else's and there is not even a 1/10 of the time to accomplish it all within a lifetime.  Especially, when there is no way of telling when the "end" of your lifetime is.

Being home now is really opening my eyes to see that I have no idea what to do with my life and to be honest, it's pushing me farther away from choosing one thing to do with my life.  I guess what I'm saying is, I'm still torn.  Every time I think I know what I want from life, the next day I'm a complete mess because everything's a blur.  The past 2 weeks have been filled with blurry days and all I can get out of it is that I'm not doing what I need to be doing.  (What do I need to be doing though?)  

Torn between ministry and "real life" (as I've found many non-missionaries like to reference it) is my state of being right now.  Decisions are what I'm living for and they're rapidly closing in on me.  Times like this I realize I cannot do life alone, I need people and I need guidance.  Even more so, I need a little hope. 

*Edit- After posting this I read the title of my blog.  If would just stop trying to figure this out on my own and truly embrace what's in front of me, I would get right where I'm going.  Maybe a little trust would spark the glimmer of hope I'm looking for.  

Past, Present, and Honolulu

My thoughts like to take little trips to foreign places.  Their favorite spot is the future, in fact, they stay there quite often.  I think it's becoming quite the vacation destination for them.  I wish they could figure something out, but it's all jumbled, creating a very laxidazical mood for the present.

There are so many things I want to master or at least know how to do, so I think I will choose one for now and spend my time digging into it.  Such as playing piano, drawing...or writing.  Yes, my creativity must thrive again and take its reviving breath.  

Another thought from this week so far is to be yourself.  Spend time with people who know who they are and help you know who you are.  I've found out much about myself this week and it is pushing me to be a much better person.  In fact, a friend suggested I keep a journal of myself, writing things; such as, my favorite color, drink, band, art medium, what makes me feel like me, etc...  So I'm suggesting that to you.  If you are trying to figure yourself out, write yourself in a book.

"What are you going to do with your life?"  It's funny how that question never stops running through my head...not once has it grown faint...in fact, I think it's screaming it's way into my every thought and decision.  I'm ready to shove those thoughts out.

Pursued.

I have so many thoughts buzzing around my mind tonight...thoughts that I should probably put to bed but they are far too active to settle down.  Tonight a friend reminded me that I am made to be pursued.  I'm worth someone desiring me!  This thought brought on a whole new thought process to life:

God is pursuing us. (old thought new understanding I guess!)
He isn't ambiguous or beating around the bush, He wants us to know that He desires us.  Now, this might be my relational personality here but...I really believe that God uses the people in our lives to pursue us and love us.   He works in many other ways too but I think the main way God loves us is through people.

How sad to think that we can postpone a thoughtful gesture God wants to do or hold back a sweet nothing He wants to whisper in someone's ear.  I know God is much greater than what He asks of us but what gift are we keeping from Christ's bride when we keep our gifts and words from God to ourselves?  What are we holding back when we choose not to love someone unconditionally?  Much more than we can imagine, I'm sure.

I am unbelievably thankful that God is much greater than our mistakes and hesitations.  And that His heart for everyone is so great He doesn't want to stop pursuing us, even when we try to walk away.  He is the ultimate Pursuer.

Another thought on this topic is that I don't want to ignore His pursuit.  I want to embrace each moment the Lord spends with me, each gesture and whisper He sends my way.  There is no need to play hard to get with God.  He finds joy in knowing us intimately so we can get to know Him intimately.  We just have to be real with Him and follow His heart.

I Dare You to Live

"Without vision people perish"

I don't have much right now but to say, dream big.  Don't let circumstances fade the visions and passions God has placed in your heart.  They're there for a reason and to let them go by unnoticed or untouched would be denying who God has made you to be.  Follow His urging, and if you don't know for sure that it's Him, He is going to bless you for seeking after His heart.  Step out in boldness and don't let fear get in the way.

I truly want my dreams to be reality.  I can picture them right now as words on a page or paint on a canvas and then one day taking a deep breath and coming to life.  In fact, I can't picture them doing anything but dancing off the page.  The one thing I cannot forget is that I control whether they breathe or lay asleep.

Choose It

When life becomes so focused on one situation or event it takes everything out of you.  You start seeing your joy focus in on those moments of peace, healing, and strength.  Relationships become so involved in your situation(s) that it's hard to decipher true friends from the ones who just feel bad for you.  And most importantly, you become self absorbed.  Even though you hate what you're going through and all your energy is spent on your "situation," all you can do it talk about you.  It's consuming you, eating away at any selfless part of you.

Unless you choose to not be overcome by self pity, vanity, and discontentment.

When our joy is fixed on something greater than ourselves it is always there, no matter what circumstances are.  If we let our lives depend on the crap we're going through then we are missing out on a lot, and I, for one, do not want to miss out on life.  Relationships are too important to let them slip away because of selfishness.  If we choose to be focused on circumstances (bad or good) rather than people, we are going through life without any true relationships because we cannot see past how they can help us, hurt us, or sooth us.  We are made to love God and we do that by loving others...it's not about what they can do for us!  In fact, if we try to make friends by what we can or can't do for them we are making just as much of a problem as they are.

Our relationship with God affects every part of our lives, especially our relationships with others.  I know I have a lot of soul searching to do right now.  I never want to be so focused on myself and the things around me that I forget who I really am...and to be honest, that is the exact direction I'm headed in if I don't start choosing what my heart is set on.

In the words of John Murphy, Choose it!  

Love is Action

"If you have become bitter and sour, it is because when God gave you a blessing you clutched it for yourself; whereas if you had poured it out unto the Lord, you would have been the sweetest person out of heaven. If you are always taking blessings to yourself and never learn to pour out anything unto the Lord, other people do not get their horizon enlarged through you." -Oswald Chambers


I was reading Luke 11 this morning and meditating on truly asking, knocking, and seeking...God desires to give to us when we step out in boldness, right?  I felt as though something wasn't clicking though, like I was missing a part of what God is telling me this morning.  Then I read my daily excerpt from My Utmost For His Highest (above quote) and it all just clicked.  Often I ask God for a blessing, one that He's laid on my heart, He gives it to me and then I'm happy.  That's it, I am satisfied that He has answered my prayer...  It's beautiful to be satisfied in the Lord but I'm missing the step of action!  God gives us blessings so we can bless others,  and ultimately so we can love Him better.  Love Him by serving, worshiping, sharing...LOVE IS ACTION!  I don't know how many times I've said that, prayed that, and meditated on that, but have I ever lived it?  It breaks my heart to think I have missed loving my Father in the way He has called me to love.  My prayer today is to love Him the way He has loved us, to sacrifice who I am and what He has given me.  I want to be fertile ground for God to grow something so beautiful through me.  


As my friends from Off The Wall say so often, 'Love God Today!'

Spread the Music, Spread the Love

For some people music is life.  It consumes everything they are, want to be, and choose to do.  I realized recently that I am the only member of my family who is not talented at some instrument or gifted with a beautiful voice.  BUT that hasn't smothered the world music creates for me.  It brings life, peace, releases frustration, feeds my creativity, and expresses my heart better than I usually can myself.  Best of all, music can bring freedom.  Check out the Art and Justice League and what they are doing with music to bring freedom to the children of the world!

I Do Believe...I do, I do!

The Davis family needs our prayers! They have run into complications with their current pregnancy and are asking everyone to join them in fighting for the life of their baby, Eisley Antalya.

While praying for the Davis family God gave me a picture of their sweet Eisley losing her light, like Tink in Peter Pan.  Peter is in despair as his best friend is losing her light but then he realizes he can make a difference, he can save her life!   With hope and determination he got every child-like heart in the world to believe and bring her light back.  Well that is what we must do for Eisley Antalya!  Lets trust in our Father and His healing power to touch Eisley as she is still in the womb.  If you don't know the Davis' story already please visit their blog http://colourherhope.com/ and get to know them.  This little girl is going to impact the world, we just need to fight for her right now while she can't fight for herself!  If you get any words of encouragement or blessing I know they would love to hear what you have to share.  

...Then Whom Shall We Fear?

My greatest fear is to live in fear.  In fact, I'm determined to find what it means to live without it and help others find what it means for them.  Freedom is something we can't breathe without and have been given as a gift.  The first step in living without fear is knowing who you are.  Your identity in Christ is the strength of who He is taking over the weakness of who you are.  If we just understood the greatness of who He is we would understand the fact that there isn't possibly anything to fear.

Dance With Me

This song is so beautifully simple and speaks more of my relationship with the Lord right now than any words I could write on my own.  I just wanted to share this with you guys.  The video is a live version of the song I found on youtube (sorry the video screen is cut off a bit) and the lyrics are below.

VERSE 1:
Behold You have come over the hills upon the mountain
To me, You will run, my beloved, you've captured my heart

CHORUS 1:
Won't You dance with me, Oh
Lover of my soul,
to the song of all songs?

VERSE 2:
With You, I will go You are my Love You are my Fair One
The winter has passed and the springtime has come
(repeat)

CHORUS 2:
Won't You dance with me, Oh
Lover of my soul,
to the song of all songs?
Romance me, Oh
Lover of my soul
to the song of all songs

A Change of Seasons

For so long I have been pierced by the cold of Winter. These dry spears of ice, which once shot pain through my body, have become numb and I can only dream of feeling once again...pain is better than the nothingness which has suffocated the life inside of me.  To feel again, would be to live again.  Oh but to cling to the heart of my Savior, the only warmth in sight.  My cry is to feel Him and to know Him, to live in the Spring which bursts through His nature and character keeps me moving and keeps the ember of hope lit deep inside.  My eyes have not left His, I would lose everything with one glance in the other direction. There is no despair even through pain when our eyes are fixed on each other.  Every night I cry for wild flowers, to embrace the effects of sunshine and rain.  Day in and day out all my senses are unsatisfied with this desert of ice, the only water I have felt is in my dreams and even those are fading.  All I can do now is wait, and hold on to hope.  Hope in a Savior whom I love. Hope in the One who keeps my heart beating.  Hope that restoration is at the end of this wintery path.

I rub my hazy eyes, they are blurry from fighting the wind and untrustworthy from each illusion they gave into.  But tears burn as I witness the first sign of Spring, the sun peeking through the clouds.  My cracked lips and parched throat can only utter one phrase as He breathes a painful breath into my lungs, "Thank you."  

For quite some time I had been through a hard and dry winter season in my life and now I see signs of spring and life all around me.  I am so blessed to have a faithful King and beautiful friendships that I am constantly growing from.  Today I can only be grateful and look back on everything He has taught me in the last few years, I am ready to run through the fields of wildflowers and help others embrace the season they are in just as some dear friends did for me.  Embrace life and don't let it pass you by, even the hard parts...they teach you how to love, persevere, and cherish.

Embrace Today!

There is a lot of buzz about weddings and relationships, finding that right person.  I'm not sure why this summer has been so full of marriage and engagements, maybe I'm just at that age.  But I do know it puts all these horrible thoughts in a girls head, like; "something's wrong with me that I haven't found someone yet" or "I need to be a better person, artist, musician, cook, baker, etc. so I can have my own 'prince."  Now, I realize I'm putting myself on the line here and letting everyone in the world know that I'm just a silly girl but these are legit thoughts that go through almost every girl's mind when all of her friends are getting married.  I found that I have to stop myself and look at the whole picture...the picture that says I'M ONLY 22! I have so much life ahead of me yet and if that prince comes then he comes, until then God is calling me to be solely His.  I long to be a better bride for my King and my King alone.  God has spoken so strongly through Mother Teresa and her writings the last while and this is no exception.  Mother Teresa lived her life solely for the Lord and was so confident in that, what a beautiful life she lived with God!

The phrase, "to embrace life" gives me a beautiful picture of wrapping my arms around everything rich and beautiful and soaking in every bit of what it has to offer and letting it take every bit of me I have to offer.  I want to give everything I can to serve God and to live this life to the fullest.  A good friend of mine reminded me that not all prophecies "just happen" we have to do our part to make them happen!  We have to embrace what God has given us to fulfill the things He has spoken into our lives.  Well, I think it's time to focus on the things God has asked me to do and spoken to me so I can be the bride and daughter He has called me to be.

His Will Not Mine

"Am I willing to give up everything?" "What if everything means my dreams and traveling the world?"  "Are all of my passions to stop human trafficking and hold babies in India my own?"  "Where do my desires stop and His desires begin?"  
Lately thoughts like these have been consistently running through my mind.  A fear of living for myself took over the confidence of who I am in Christ, who He spoke me to be.  Each desire and passion He placed so confidently inside of me has been questioned and pulled apart.  Is that a bad thing?  I don't think so.  Even through my moments of insecurity and confusion God gives me much strength and I have no doubt that those passions are straight from His heart.  So why am I here?  What am I doing in the middle of Amish country?!(haha this questions comes up all too often)  I have devoted my life to follow after His heart, I am dedicated to glorifying Him and if this is where He is glorified most right now then I am completely satisfied to be here. But I never want to lose sight of who I really am, a strong-willed, creative, justice focused woman with a compassion for the world.  I pray that who God has made me to be will only grow stronger while I am in this safe place.


Father, keep my heart from growing weak.  Keep my eyes fixed on You.  Keep my mind sharp and my ears sensitive to your voice.  Let me not miss one step You ask me to take or one hand you ask me to hold.  Even though I do not understand how, be glorified in me!  Make Your name known and spread Your love through one so undeserving yet so willing.  I am Yours so do Your will with me.

"God plants His saints in the most useless places. We say - God intends me to be here because I am so useful. Jesus never estimated His life along the line of the greatest use. God puts His saints where they will glorify Him, and we are no judges at all of where that is."
-Oswald Chambers 

Never Lose

Blind Faith

Sometimes I catch myself trying to cheat in life.  Maybe cheat isn't the best word, "sneak peek" might describe it better.  I'll pray that God open doors and guide me to the next destination on our path.  So He does, He leads me right to the door which is standing wide open.  But what's on the other side of the door? 5 inches.  That's it.  There is nothing but 5 inches standing in front of me.  Where will 5 inches take me?  What could actually happen within 5 inches?  So I stand there.  Waiting.  Watching the path, wondering when it will grow and if 5 inches could possibly be worth taking.  I spend most of my time straining my eyes to see what's past the 5 inches.  It is quite clear that I am incapable of seeing past what's in front of me but I try and try.  With futile attempts at catching a glimpse of where this path leads I finally decide the 5 inches may be worth my time.  One step is all I can take with what space I have.  But what I see within that step is worth a thousands steps at one time.  What's truly on the other side of the door is another door.  But that is all I need to know, the path is still there and God has more ahead.
I'm finding that following God's path in blind faith generally means taking one step at a time.  Those rare moments of taking leaps are beautiful and to be cherished but squeeze every bit out of those small steps that you can.  God has a brilliant plan for each of us and to hesitate (especially doubting the worth of the step) would be to deny the blessing He has for you and those around you.

Awaken the Wait

We live to satisfy the senses, stimulated by the smallest amount of sensuality or comfort we take it to the extreme to fulfill that stimulation.  Desire is not enough for us so we squeeze everything we can out of our senses to make us feel better.  Unsatisfied by mystery we want to uncover every piece of each glimpse we get.  

But what if we saw false comforts for what they are, empty?  There's a comfort that comes after much anticipation and rough road, much like the gleam of gold after deep refinement.  The wait is the part that pushes us to be ready for the peace.  

God calls us to be different than the world, to go against the grain.  I believe the main pattern in that grain is instant self gratification.  "Do whatever you can to get whatever you want as fast as possible."  The greatest things in life are worth waiting.  These days we hear a lot of this message directed towards sex but what I am talking much greater than that, it is the deeper issue of dependence on God.  

Why are the seven sins so deadly?  They follow the grain, and bring a halt to our refinement. Resolutions never come instantaneously (thank God for His grace when it comes to salvation though).  The loss of a dear friend or lover comes so hard so we push it into the closet and leave it there.  Not just to forget but to numb ourselves, to callouss the moldable part of our hearts.  But it doesn't go away.  It stays and grows because we feed it with our senses.  We "forget" by drinking ourselves sick, eating until we can't eat anymore, having sex until we've collected every demon...just to hide pain that could be turned to something so beautiful.  Redemption is not owned by the act of salvation.  Redemption belongs to every part of our lives.  Let us not forget what we are living for and that each step, though uncomfortable, can we turned into something beautiful and strong.  

In Awe

How often do I stand in awe of my King?  How long has it been since my heart leaped at the thought of His presence? It has been far too long since I've leaned against His chest and felt His breath.  All the other things have gotten in my way, I've missed the glimpses of His face with the brick wall of desire and the steel doors called "lack of faith" standing in front of me.

Oh but I've glimpsed His face from down here, down at His feet.  What beauty, majesty, and strength He holds.  I cannot look for more than a moment, and in that moment my heart may burst.  But what perfection for my heart to burst as His burst for me.  Sweat and tears of blood, pain in every piece of who He is.  Yet He stayed in strength because He has called us worthy, He has named us Beloved.

He calls us to stand with Him, as His bride, His co-heir, His beloved.

When He reaches out His hand and asks us to stand, will we believe what He has called us or will we stay laying in the dirt, where we can only imagine His heart beat?  I want to know my King.  I want to lose my breath with every word He speaks.  Can you hear His whisper from the dirt?  He will pick you up, carry you, clean you, and transform you. 

My cry is for this generation of Christians to get out of the dirt, to understand the Father's heart for their life.  Just as much as they long to glimpse His face He longs to look in their eyes.  His purpose for His bride is much more than staring at His feet.

Who's Behind You?

Relationships are vital to your way of life.  If we are not intentional about surrounding ourselves with good friends who will encourage, support, challenge, and push us...then how do we expect to do the same for anyone else?

I pray God reminds us often of His intent for our friendships. 

Relationships are a life source for us, when we lack them, we lack life.  We are not the full image of God, therefore, there will always be a part of someone else that opens a door to a new part of God's heart.  Each person carries the glory of the Lord in a unique way.  My heart is to carry it in a way that allows others to carry it the way God intended, that way they can shine.

Oh Lord, never let my eyes close to your beauty in each person.  

The Ache

Some days I feel like I am torn between two different worlds, the world of organized, clean, stable living and the world of unpredictable, dirty adventure.  Both are great, both have a purpose...only one has the power over my heart to make it ache in its absence.  Part of me longs to believe they can coexist within my life, but reality is making me all too aware of their resistance to each other.  Much like oil and water, no matter how hard I try to shake them up and mix them together, they will never make a smooth mix.  But no matter which world I'm in, I have to stay aware of where the Father's heart is.  I am made for the hard, rough, dirty road...the not always comfortable or fun road...but that is what I've been made to walk on. So how do I do that when I am in Ohio? 
I don't know. 
But I don't want to lose site of who I am or forget about the babies who wait for my arms to hold them.  There is purpose for each season; to learn, to wait, to run, in this season I am seeking without relent.  I want to know my God in deeper, more intimate ways.

Home

I made it home on Friday, we had a smooth trip and made got here pretty early.  Lisa and I stayed an extra week in Connecticut to help the staff organize and get ready for an estate sale because they are selling the house we were living in.  The idea was great but it ended up being quite a long week and we were both ready to be home by the time Friday morning came around.

It's hard to believe my time there is over already.  I feel as though I just got there a week ago.  It's hard to explain how much I change with each step I take in YWAM but take my word when I say it's exponential amounts.  I feel like a new person.  This time I really think I am.  I'm not even sure how at this point, I just see my reactions and heart are different than what they were before.  God works in crazy ways that's for sure!

In the last week and a half or so I've gotten quite a bit sicker and have been noticing more and more symptoms.  Thankfully I have a doctors appointment on Monday and will be able to get started on this path to being healthy.

I'll update you all more once I get some rest.  For now, here's a picture of my best friend and I from tonight.  (We're holding energy drinks just to make sure there's no confusion there!) (Oh, and I figured out that energy drinks are another thing I need to stay away from to keep myself feeling better...I should have known!)

Break My Heart for What Breaks Yours

"Do not allow complicated scenarios create apathy."

There's something about big problems that cause us to turn apathetic.  We walk right past the man laying on the road, bruised and beaten, and say that 'someone else will come along', 'we don't know him so he's not our concern', 'his problems are greater than anything we can do', or even walk past and talk about him to our friends and family.  This is what Jesus talks about in the parable of the 'Good Samaritan' in Luke 10.

Why do we pass responsibility on to others when God calls us to give a hand to those who are in need?  I am guilty of this just as much as anyone else.  My heart is to take the steps I can right now.  To provide for those who have nothing and love those who know no love.  I do not want to be like the Levite who knew the system and assumed it would eventually take care of the man laying there and I do not want to be like the priest who did not want to be seen as unclean.  But I do long to be as the Samaritan, who was willing to risk who he is to save a man's life who he probably hated.
I long for my heart to be broken so deeply by the heart of the Father that I do not hesitate to take care of the pain I see in those around me or to stand for the injustice taking the lives of those around the world.

With the Helper moving inside of us, no problem, issue, or solution is too large for us to take on.  And no action is too small.  If we are focused on Christ and who He is, then we are going to see justice like we've never seen it before.  The dent humanity can make is absolutely nothing on the massacre Christ's blood brings to the injustice of the world.

The basic idea of this post was presented by Jim Ehrman in our class, the Forum.

Simple Joys

Well this probably sounds like a very small thing to many people but me it's a big deal.  I made cookies today and can eat them!  They're just a simple sugar cookie made with almond flour and soy oil margarine. It's exciting to have these simple little joys that I usually can't have.

We graduate from school today which is also really exciting.  I still have no idea what is between here and India in September but I know God has something on His heart for me!  I really hope everyone's having a great week and able to enjoy the simple things.

Get Up, Stand Up: Stand Up for THEIR Rights

What is Social Justice?

It's a voice for the voiceless.
It's a stand against that which robs the weak of their human right.
It's a fight to bring what is due to those who can't do it for themselves.

Some may argue that the social justice movement is not Christian or that it's in God's hands so we don't need to do anything with it.  Well, I think that's blasphemy.  God has called us to fight for those who can't fight for themselves.  Numerous times in the bible He asks us to feed the hungry, clothe the needy, and even take them in, but why? 
Because God looks out for His children.  He wants to use US to take care of those who cannot jump start their lives on their own, or even get out of the horrible situations they are stuck in.  Social Justice is just another term for loving Jesus...


Open your mouth for the speechless,
In the cause of all who are appointed to die.
Open your mouth, judge righteously,
And plead the cause of the poor and needy. 
Proverbs 31:8-9


“For if you truly amend your ways and your deeds, if you truly practice justice between a man and his neighbor,  if you do not oppress the alien, the orphan, or the widow, and do not shed innocent blood in this place, nor walk after other gods to your own ruin,
then I will let you dwell in this place, in the land that I gave to your fathers forever and ever."
Jeremiah 7:5-7

I Love Trees

“ Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,

      And whose hope is the Lord.

      For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters,  

      Which spreads out its roots by the river,

      And will not fear when heat comes;

      But its leaf will be green,

      And will not be anxious in the year of drought,

      Nor will cease from yielding fruit."

      Jeremiah 17:7-8

 

Death is Not Easy

The Habit of Rising to the Occasion

This is from one of last week's daily excerpts from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers.

"That ye may know what is the hope of His calling . . ." Ephesians 1:18

You cannot do anything for your salvation, but you must do something to manifest it, you must work out what God has worked in. Are you working it out with your tongue, and your brain and your nerves? If you are still the same miserable crosspatch, set on your own way, then it is a lie to say that God has saved and sanctified you.

God is the Master Engineer, He allows the difficulties to come in order to see if you can vault over them properly - "By my God have I leaped over a wall." God will never shield you from any of the requirements of a son or daughter of His. Peter says - "Think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you." Rise to the occasion; do the thing. It does not matter how it hurts as long as it gives God the chance to manifest Him self in your mortal flesh.

May God not find the whine in us any more, but may He find us full of spiritual pluck and athleticism, ready to face anything He brings. We have to exercise ourselves in order that the Son of God may be manifested in our mortal flesh. God never has museums. The only aim of the life is that the Son of God may be manifested, and all dictation to God vanishes. Our Lord never dictated to His Father, and we are not here to dictate to God; we are here to submit to His will so that He may work through us what He wants. When we realize this, He will make us broken bread and poured out wine to feed and nourish others.

Passion

What makes you tick?  We all have something inside of us that brings us alive and sparks a fire in our hearts.  Now, I know God does that in our hearts and serving Him is what places a passion in us but, how are you made to serve him the best?  I can almost guarantee that what sparks a fire inside of you is what God has placed there for you to use to serve Him.  For me, surprising as it is, it's dancing.  There is something in my heart that just feels SO alive when I am free enough to dance.  There are other things that really burn a passion in this heart of mine, mostly involving art, but to dance is to be in line with the heart of my Father. 

What makes me sad is that I don't dance.  Not because I am missing out (though that makes me upset too) but to know that I could bless the Father's heart so much by doing what I am made to do.  I think there are multiple factors in why I don't dance anymore but I am choosing to do so now.  I long for it.  Maybe there is even a part of me that knows I am complete when I am praising God with the passion He has given me.

What are you made to do that blesses the Father's heart?  Don't know? Ask Him!

"Let Love Love"

I wish I could sit down with each one of you reading this and share what I've been learning in the last few days.  For some reason, I can't bring myself to even try to write everything down in a blog.  It's impossible to capture it all in a few paragraphs.

We have been made worthy of love and given the capability to give it out...freely.  I'm learning what it means to live in love, no matter what.  It is one of the greatest risks we take and the most beautiful.  To love is to truly live.  The lyrics bellow are from a song my friend wrote, it says a lot of what I need to hear and my heart's message for others.
*Side note: You should check Julie out on iTunes! She just released an album last month and it's SO good! You'll love it :)

LET LOVE by Julie Tiehen

She says my beauty isn’t safe
I’ll get used, I’d rather hide away
So she hides behind eyes that never cry
Fakes her smiles
Lives a lie, she lives a lie

And the fear of love is guarding her
But the need for love is calling her
In her heart a voice says...

Let love love, love, let love love
ohh
let love love, love, let love love

He says i don’t know my place
And I’m afraid I don’t have what it takes
He runs, plays with guns
But never tries and never fights for what is right
It isn’t right

Cause the fear of love is guarding him
But the need for love is calling him
In his heart a voice says...

Let love love, Love, let love love
ohh
Let love love, Love, let love love

You say I’ve been hurt before
I know better now
I wanna open up the door
You fight it
You hide it
Keep quiet in your heart

You’re so alone you’re so alone
But some day the fear that holds your heart
Won’t hold you anymore
And on that day your need for love
Will overcome your need to be safe

And you’ll finally let love love....let love love.

Dirty Feet, Beautiful Journey

We had our silent retreat this weekend.  It was a lot different than I expected but I saw Jesus in a whole new, more intimate light and that's all I could ever ask for. 

History and Relationship & Justice and Unity

Yesterday in class one of the first things Jeremy said was, "History is indispensable to relationship."  I can't deny that I was a bit cynical toward the statement. I mean history is factual and boring but, relationship....relationship is beautiful, dynamic, stretching, makes memories and........wait....what?

Memories imply some type of historical background.  If we didn't have a history with someone we would never have a relationship with them.  If we did not have beautiful (and even rough moments) from the past we would have nothing to base our relationships off of.  So how much more of a relationship can we see within God and the memories He's made with the world?  His love, His judgment, compassion, strength, mercy...the list goes on forever.  I challenge us all to look into our pasts and even history recorded and let the times of pleasure and the times of growth to come flowing back.  For some, thinking this way is almost impossible because the hard times.  My challenge (as I was challenged myself) to you is to look back at those times and ask God where He was and how He moved. 

I wrote the first half earlier today and my heart is somewhere else now. 

Please watch this video.  Let it affect you; get angry, let your heart break, feel for these captive ones...

Now do something.  Anything. Just sharing with someone about the facts of what you've just watched can impact this horrible industry.  Research.  Anything that spreads the word.  Let's stand together, let's make a difference!

Hope

So often when I feel hopeless I lose sight of where my hope truly comes from.  There is always hope in the Lord and I can always find it within His word, scriptural and in the Word, Jesus.  Within hope there is joy and within joy there is peace and within peace I tend to find restoration.  Our hope does not present itself within circumstance but within the beauty of our King and the desire to serve Him.

I Surrender

This song by Kim Walker is my heart in a nutshell right now.  I am His, all of me.  I feel as though I have drank Jesus up and it almost takes my breath away.  All I long to do is live a lifestyle of worship to my God, in posture of complete surrender.   

I Surrender
There is no love, sweeter than the love You pour on me.
There is no song, sweeter than the song You sing to me.
There is no place, that I would rather be,
Than here at Your feet, laying down everything.

Chorus:
All to You, I surrender,
Everything, every part of me.
All to You, I surrender,
All of my dreams, all of me.

If worship's like perfume, I'll pour mine out on You.
For there is none as deserving of my love like You.
So take my hand and draw me into You,
I want to be swept away, lost in love for You.

Bridge 1:
I surrender...

Bridge 2:
No turning back, I've made up my mind,
I'm giving all of my life this time.

Bridge 3:
Your love makes it worth it,
Your love makes it worth it all,
Your love makes it worth it all.

side note: Sorry for the lack of pictures and creativity on here lately.  I've had a lot going on and haven't taken the time to post...or really even take...pictures.  I'm working on it though and will post some soon.  Much love everyone!

I'd like more of Jesus, please.

What we need more of is Jesus. Purely, passionately, fully seeking after Him is what keeps us in righteousness, there is nothing we can do to be the Father's righteous, holy children outside of Jesus, what He did for us, and what He does in our lives daily. So that is my prayer for all of us right now, "More Jesus, please!"

I'm excited to see God move deeper in my life. The only thing I can do is make more room for Him, empty myself of anything else that is taking my heart captive. Sin is not who we are, it is not a sickness, it is a choice, and I want to choose relationship with my Savior!

If our decision to not act on temptation is purely because of fear, consequences, or other people then we might as well have acted on it, because we have already done it in our hearts, we have already planned it in our minds and have seen what the end result would be. God is worthy and He is personal. He is our reason for life and how we live our lives...if our heart is not transformed enough to not dwell on temptation then we have already committed the sin by letting it form inside of us. God is not only interested in our actions but the condition of our soul. We are constantly growing in increasing amounts of light (if we choose so) and God desires to see us succeed! We are blessed to serve such a personal and loving God. <3

This season is showing me that an endurance in trust is not easy. There are so many times that I have been able to trust God through tragedies and pain but the situations change and get better and I see good come from them...what happens when I am asked to trust in situations that have no end in sight? When there is disease with no solution or debt with no money, will I keep trusting? I like to think, Yes, but I am finding it is not an easy yes. Blind, ruthless trust is not something that comes at the drop of a hat in human nature and I so wish it did. I want to be that daughter that trusts her Father in all situations, no matter how hard, long, or painful but, I suppose I can never learn to be that daughter without going through situations that bring forth these conditions.

Though trust is not easy it is worth every bit of every trial I go through. My relationship with God can only grow within the pain. I don't believe that God wants me to be in pain or go through tragedy but I do know He wants me to trust Him when I end up in these situations. He is greater than any situation or obstacle in life.

Prayers are appreciated right now. Not that God would change my situations but that I would allow Him to change my heart. He has the situations in His hand, it's my heart that I have too much say over.

I have it so good...

I really do. No matter what happens in my life, there is someone out there who has had it worse, who has dealt with much much more than I will ever see in my life time. My family is safe, I am safe, I can walk, I can worship my God, I have freedom of speech, I am blessed beyond the typical things of life and not many people in the world can say that.

We started our first day at IRIS today. I got to teach english to a sweet group of ladies who are all so ready and willing to learn. I feel so unworthy to teach them or have acquaintance with them because they are so strong, so kind, and have endured so much. I am truly excited to get to know these women and see them grow. I only wish that I knew I had more time with them...and that I knew how to teach english! I'm sure I made the biggest fool of myself in front of them today but they showed me nothing but kind hearts and warmth.

God-Focused

This week in school we're talking about "The Secret to Happiness." Just writing that makes me feel like I'm in some kind of self-help support group but to be honest, I am getting so much out of this week already. It's day 2 and God is really opening my eyes to why I find myself in critical, insecure, and unhappy places. If my eyes are fixed on me or circumstances I become selfish and lacking joy but when I am focused on God and His heart I become grateful and full of joy. It's a simple revelation but life changing. There are too many times where I have taken my eyes off of God and His character that I have become embittered and angry.

Something I know I will hold on to so tightly is to not lose site of God among the cause of this world. My cause is Jesus not injustice. I cannot bring justice to any situation, Jesus is the only One who can do that. How selfish for me to believe I could do anything about the children getting raped in Asia, the villages starving in Africa, or the hopelessness forming in Haiti. If justice at its purest form is truly love correcting everything that stands against love then the only justice is to live by love in its Purest Form, Jesus.

Jehova Jireh-The Lord Who Provides

God never ceases to surprise me. When life seems the hardest and trust seems distant He shows up in the sweetest, most encouraging ways; through a note from a distant friend, a box in the mail, a verse in the Bible, a quote, through the smallest a greatest of things. I want to have a child-like faith and trust and know that I will be taken care of. He proves day in and day out His faithfulness and I have no reason to doubt that He is good, I am blessed to know such a Father.

I have a horrible case of "poverty mentality" ant it's stealing the greatness of the blessings I have. Jehova Jireh is a part of God I want to know and live by. He is my provider and I his child. Even without a set income and working like the rest of world I can live a good life, I live by a God who is faithful and compassionate. He guides is in what is best for who we are.


Here's a funny story from Yiddish tradition that I read in "Ruthless Trust," I thought it went well with my thoughts for the day. haha

"One day Israel Schwartz asked God, 'Yahweh, is it true that for you a thousand years is just a minute?'

Yahweh answered, 'Yes, Izzy, that is true.'

Izzy had a second question: 'And Yahweh, is it true that for you a million dollars is just a penny?'

Yahweh replied, 'Yes, Izzy, that also is true.'

Extending his right hand with palm upturned, Izzy Schwartz said, 'Yahweh give me a penny.'

And Yahweh said, 'Certainly, it'll only take a minute.'"


Our God is big.

Faith - Action = Nothing

We cannot live by intention alone, nothing would get done and integrity would be lost. God is not about complacency or mere thought, He is about taking action and transforming the heart. How could we expect God to give us an abundant life if we are not embracing and moving in the things He has given us already? Let's challenge ourselves to love with every bit of love that we have, serve with every bit of energy we can find, and share His heart with everyone that we can. We will not run dry and He will supply everything we need. He is our source and our guide and desires to adventure with us. It's time to put action to thought.


I'm a little passionate about this today :)

Trust

"The way of trust is a movement into obscurity, into the undefined, into the ambiguity, not into some pre-determined, clearly delineated plan for the future. The next step discloses itself only out of a discernment of God acting in the desert of the present moment. The reality of naked trust is the life of a pilgrim who leaves what is nailed down, obvious, and secure, and walks into the unknown without any rational explanation to justify the decision or guarantee the future. Why? Because God has signaled the movement and offered it His presence and His promise."

-Brennan Manning

The Trusted One

Who do you think of when you read this post title?

Chances are you didn't think of Judas Iscariot. At least, I know I don't think of Judas in this way. The "trusted one?" My whole life I've been brought up seeing Judas as a schemer who was plotting all of these things against Jesus, but who was Judas really? He took care of the money, had a throne in Heaven waiting for him, was a dear friend of Jesus, and yes, betrayed Him as well.

I don't believe that Judas has a horrible man. I'm starting to see that Judas was a dreamer, he lived in a fantasy world of ministry and power that didn't exist. He saw Jesus's message how he wanted to see it rather than how it really was...I honestly wonder if he thought he was helping Jesus by pushing the process along. There is no fact to back this up but it makes sense to me that someone so close and dear to Jesus would only want to see Him rule His kingdom sooner.

Listening to the message, Judas Had a Throne, by Winkie Pratney really got me thinking about these things. If Judas would have gone back and asked Jesus for forgiveness would he have still hung himself? Would he have been on that throne in Heaven? When the women saw the angel at the tomb would he have said to go tell the disciples, Peter, and Judas? (Mark 16:7) I'd like to think that he would have been reassured just like Peter was. Betrayal is something that we do daily and are forgiven daily. These are just thoughts and something that I am processing right now.

So in my life, how have I betrayed Jesus and have I been viewing Him in my own way or in truth? Is there a fantasy world I live in rather than reality? We've been doing a lot of reexamining in our lives lately and I'm really starting to see things for what they really are and for who I really am. My Best Friend saved me by grace.

The Peculiar Ones

With many such parables [Jesus] spoke the Word to them, as they were able to hear and to comprehend and understand.
He did not tell them anything without a parable; but privately to His disciples (those who were peculiarly His own) He explained everything [fully]. Mark 4:33-34 (Amplified)

The phrase "those who were peculiarly His own" really caught my attention while reading this passage. Granted, I know it's the Amplified version and it doesn't say that in any other version of the Bible, but God really used it to speak to me. I want to be like the disciples, spending every moment I can with Jesus. Studying His words and listening to what He has to say rather than my own interpretation. I want to be unconventional in the way I see the world, I want to belong to my Savior in a way that no one else understands.

After spending alone time with His disciples Jesus ends up questioning their faith. Later on in Mark 4 the disciples and Jesus end up in a storm that brings fear upon His "peculiar ones." This story honestly brings peace to my heart. Even though the disciples walked with Jesus every day does not mean that they were not human, their faith had to be tested and stretched just as ours does. To be elite in God's eyes does not mean to be perfect...but to be intimate with Him.

Embracing the Journey

This week marks a fresh step in my journey with God. I've asked God in the last few weeks to really show me what it's like to know for a fact that I am in the right place doing the right thing. Well, He gave that to me. I am going back to Connecticut this week to do another YWAM school. This school is going to be a foundation for me to really work off of. I think it's going to be a launching pad for me to do the ministry that I've always wanted to do and that brings such joy to my heart! While there for just a week God really showed me that I had forgotten my original desire to love abused women and children, specifically those who have been touched by human trafficking. I'm not exactly sure how this will come about but I am ready to embrace the journey that will get me there.I'm seeing that the journey may be trying and obstacles may be in the way but God pushes me through and guides me in each step. This journey is no short journey and it is on a path that will give me nothing less than a adventure.

Though the distance is unknown the beauty still resides.

Stand Together

I drove from Connecticut to Ohio today. Well...my mom and I did. We did quite well if I say so myself but...there was a little section before meeting up with my mom that I was alone and things did not go so well. In fact, somehow I got off 2 wrong exits within 1 1/2 hours. The only explanation I can give is that I was distracted. I was on the phone both times, focusing on a side conversation and not what was right in front of me. I get side-tracked so easily.

Something good out of this little mishap this morning though. I learned something from it. Well technically God used it as a physical example of everything I am going through right now. He directed me to a path to fulfill the dreams He placed in my heart but somehow I have gotten side-tracked. I looked for what would be most comfortable and what I could fit into the easiest...but that's not the path He placed me on. No, the path He asked me to take is dangerous and uncomfortable...and most likely culturally completely different.

I'm seeing the only way to really stay focused is to be on the path with someone else. Without the Body of Christ we are never going to fulfill the dreams God has placed inside of us. We are too frail on our own.

Stand Together.

"They will know we are Christians by our love...by our love..."

Color of Life

We often compare our lives to puzzles. You know, when God fits everything together and makes a beautiful picture? Well, I've been wondering what happens when the tricky pieces come along that seem to fit but really don't. They may have the same shape and similar design but the one line on them that fits somewhere else will throw the whole puzzle off. So it's similar to our lives. We settle for the moment and decide something is "ok enough" and don't wait until we find the right piece so later on in life nothing else starts to fit and the picture doesn't look right. God doesn't let pieces go missing but if we settle for less than He has for us...we may even dull the color a bit.

Personally, I like to think of it has a painting. I want to give God complete artistic freedom in my life. God, You paint the picture on my blank canvas. Even better...He can correct the strokes I tried to make on my own.

Beauty from the Broken

God takes the broken and makes it beautiful.

“I know not what He is about to do with me,

but I have given myself entirely into His hands.”

-Catherine Booth

I find myself in this place pretty often. It's such a good place to be in. It's a state that causes complete dependency and passion upon Christ and distracts me from me. I truly wish I could be in this state at all times but there is a part of me that is so human that I just can't get past myself. I tend to foolishly believe that I know what God is doing in and through me, this implies that I am even the slightest bit as wise as God in my own mind (pretty foolish right?).

This 'state' is also where I feel most at home. I suppose that's only because God has made us to depend on Him so wholly. I like to also believe that He has made us for adventure, excitement, and passion. Focused on the right point (Jesus) these things bring more glory to God than we could ever know. Focused on the wrong point (ourselves most of the time) destruction is surely around the corner. It really makes me think. Our society has made the focus of our lives ourselves...and look where we are today. Maybe if we stopped telling ourselves WE'RE good people and that WE can go and do great things and realize that only God is good and only God do great things, we would be so humbled to let Him move.

I feel so challenged the last while to really allow humility be who I am...I have no idea how this looks or what God is going to do to show me this but I do know that it is something only He can do in me. What a prideful to statement to say, "I am working on walking in humility," (I only say that because I almost just wrote it), God is the only one who truly understands humility and who can actually show us what humility is.

TRUST. I think I need to have a big painting of that word on my wall to remind me every morning to trustfully lay my life in God's hands. Today is unlike any day I have lived and if I tried to form it in my own hands it wouldn't be near as beautiful as if God did. When I think about it, I see my day as taking a pile of clay and attempting a masterpiece but ending with the same pile as what I started with (maybe worse) when God could have made a full masterpiece with the most beautiful detail that would only enhance what He has done and what is yet to come. Why would I choose to keep a pile when there's a sculpture waiting to be formed?

Oh, Glory!

God is beauty.

On my way to the airport from Golf Shores, AL Candice and I were amazed by the fog that was resting on the ocean. God's glory truly rests in His creation.

Stop and enjoy His creation today. (Don't forget, you're His creation too.)

Thoughts for the Night

New things are always hard. Always challenging. Always tiring. And almost always, completely worth it. This new season of my life is definitely hard and definitely worth it. I already see my schedule filling up rapidly and new lessons are already being written on my heart. Seasons such as this tend to make me more sensitive to God in every situation. (Mostly because I am more aware of my need for God in every situation)

One of the things I dread most in life and desire most in life is starting over. I truly hate and love new beginnings. They are hard because no one has any idea the things you've done or have experienced; therefore, you start at the bottom. The bottom is hard, stretching, painful, and sometimes even tearful. But the bottom is the best place to start because it leaves more room for adventure, learning experiences, and growth. God has the picture in clear view and I choose to see what I want so I want to choose to see whatever God has in store for the moment. Completely incapable of seeing the "big picture," the only thing we can do is submit to the plans of the One who can not only see the picture but who has also created it. God is teaching me so much about submission and the beauty it truly is. Faith is produced out of submission to the Lord. And since God's heart for us to embrace our journey, then I truly believe He desires us to be placed in situations that require faith, and a comfort that only He can provide.

In the book, Reckless Faith by Beth Guckenberger, she shares a stretching story about a small orphanage in Monterrey, Mexico. The orphanage was quite poor and had actually run out of food. They were so low on resources that they had nothing to eat for the evening meal. The director of the orphanage, Edgar, knew He could call a local ministry and have them bring food to the table within minutes but He saw an opportunity for a lesson of faith. He sat all the children down and shared their situation and asked them to pray and ask God to provide their meal for them. You see, Edgar understood that whoever they asked to provide their meal would be the one the children looked up to and had faith in. Through their prayers God provide a feast of the best cuts of meat for them, when they hadn't had meat for over a year. Can you imagine the capacity their faith grew to that day? I want that faith and am being challenged to allow myself to be up against the wall so God is the only One that can provide for me, the only one that can get glory. If I just stay in situations that my hands can fix then I am only living by my flesh, but if I live my life in reckless abandon of myself, my flesh may be uncomfortable but God is getting all glory.

Well there are all of my scattered thoughts for the night.

Much love.

We need to stay in the presence of the Lord if we want to reflect God. If we want to reflect people...then we keep trying to reinact what others are doing. I truly believe that Holy Spirit wants to move in us as actively as Jesus is God!haha I'm not sure how else to say that. The Holy Spirit wants the freedom in our will to move and breathe. I am truly excited about what God is doing in us right now and how humble He is to really teach us about who He is and not get impatient with us. He is on the move we just need to make room for Him.

Watching this video really opened my eyes to the truth of seeking His face and being a reflection of Him. I'd love if you all would watch it as well.

The Seeker's Journey

Much love.

"God in His nature is humble. Without humility a god of infinite power would use His resources to impress rather than to transform. Without humility God would find no value in us, nor would He be concerned about our well-being. The realization that God, in all of His power and knowledge and wonder, is more humble than any of us is virtually beyond comprehension."

--Erwin McManus

It really makes me stop. Where is my heart at on the humility scale? How willing am I to care for others before myself? It's a somber thought that breaks my heart. God cannot use me unless I am humble but I generally try too hard to be humble to actually let Him show me what it means. God's grace is so beautiful.

Truth

Sometimes I wonder where the truth is at. Or more specifically why we feel the need to hide the truth. Most of us will say, "we don't want to offend anyone." Well, there are whole church movements started by false profits that have altered the truth because 'they don't want to offend anyone.' Why would we as the body of Christ want to follow in the steps of those preaching lies? Now, there is such a thing as being conscious of your audience. We need to be aware of who we are talking to when it comes to those who don't know God's love, who have chosen not to follow in His ways. They are held at a different standard...a whole other view point all together. But today I am talking about the church. Why do we feel as though we are going to offend our brothers and sisters in Christ by speaking Christ's truth into their lives?

For example: When we hide the truth of the Holy Spirit living inside of us we are keeping much needed knowledge and wisdom from those who are to be walking in the guidance of the Holy Spirit. With this particular 'subject,' keeping the truth to ourselves may very well cause fear in the lives of those around us. People truly fear the Holy Spirit purely because they have not been taught who He is. He is not a good feeling during worship or a heart-felt word, He is living and breathing inside of each of us that receive Christ as our own. He's not some mystical being that is irrelevant to today's times. He speaks every chance we give Him. He is God. Inside of us.

Now, I could go on and on about the truth of the Holy Spirit but I think you already get my point.haha I just want to challenge you, as a member of the Church, to speak out in truth. Not just a version of the truth, but the raw truth of who God is.

I don't say any of this to push buttons or to call anyone specific out. I want to say this in love, for us, as the Body, to not leave room for complacency...even if that means being uncomfortable.